Coast2Coast Swingers Blog

By LUCY WATERLOW
March 27, 2007

LOVE will literally be in the air for one lucky couple as a local radio station is giving away the chance to join the mile high club over America.

Big L 1395 AM, based in Essex, has launched a competition to win a flight on a private plane - equipped with champagne, strawberries and a double bed - that will be flown over Atlanta, Georgia.

A spokesman for the station said the prize is a UK radio first and was the brainchild of famous promoter Harvey Goldsmith.

To win, couples must tell the station how they are "growing old in a suitably disgraceful manner".

Answers should be "kookie or classy, and above all, a mile-higher than your average" in order to become a finalist.

Three successful couples will be selected to go to London on Friday where they will face a panel of judges including Goldsmith and DJ Dave Hamilton to win the big prize.

The winners will then fly to Atlanta where they will board their own private jet.

For more information on the rules of the competition and how to enter visit www.bigl.co.uk

Question folks....anyone here in the "Mile High Club"?

LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- A year after one of the biggest fires in the city’s history, three people are charged with accidentally setting it.

Fire investigators say the three men were trying to take scrap metal from a warehouse on Zane Street when a blowtorch started the fire.

A lot of twists in this case -- for example, one of the men now charged in connection to the fire owned a swingers club next door and had sued the fire department after the fire for shutting off the sprinklers.

Bart Cohen was arrested last night. He's the owner of Bluegrass Secrets, a swingers club that was housed next to the warehouse.

Police say he and two other men -- Michael Pederson and Robert Vaillaincourt -- broke into that warehouse on Zane Street last St. Patrick’s Day and used a cutting torch to remove some metal items to sell to recycling centers.

A spark from that torch began a fire that eventually engulfed the warehouse, resulting in a five-alarm fire that required nearly 150 firefighters to put it out.

All three men were in court Thursday charged with burglary and wanton endangerment.

I spoke to Major Henry Ott with metro Arson, who says Vaillancourt and Pederson both have drug charges in their criminal history and that could be what motivated them to steal the metal.

I also spoke to Bart Cohen’s attorney, who told me that Cohen was trying to keep the warehouse safe since the fire department had shut off the sprinkler system.

By MARYCLAIRE DALE
Associated Press Writer

PHILADELPHIA (AP) - A federal judge on Thursday dealt another blow to government efforts to control Internet pornography, striking down a 1998 U.S. law that makes it a crime for commercial Web site operators to let children access "harmful" material.

In the ruling, the judge said parents can protect their children through software filters and other less restrictive means that do not limit the rights of others to free speech.

"Perhaps we do the minors of this country harm if First Amendment protections, which they will with age inherit fully, are chipped away in the name of their protection," wrote Senior U.S. District Judge Lowell Reed Jr., who presided over a four-week trial last fall.

The law would have criminalized Web sites that allow children to access material deemed "harmful to minors" by "contemporary community standards." The sites would have been expected to require a credit card number or other proof of age. Penalties included a $50,000 fine and up to six months in prison.

Sexual health sites, the online magazine Salon.com and other Web sites backed by the American Civil Liberties Union challenged the law. They argued that the Child Online Protection Act was unconstitutionally vague and would have had a chilling effect on speech.

The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a temporary injunction in 2004 on grounds the law was likely to be struck down and was perhaps outdated.

Technology experts said parents now have more serious concerns than Web sites with pornography. For instance, the threat of online predators has caused worries among parents whose children use social- networking sites such as News Corp.'s MySpace.

The case sparked a legal firestorm last year when Google challenged a Justice Department subpoena seeking information on what people search for online. Government lawyers had asked Google to turn over 1 million random Web addresses and a week's worth of Google search queries.

A judge sharply limited the scope of the subpoena, which Google had fought on trade secret, not privacy, grounds.

To defend the nine-year-old Child Online Protection Act, government lawyers attacked software filters as burdensome and less effective, even though they have previously defended their use in public schools and libraries.

"It is not reasonable for the government to expect all parents to shoulder the burden to cut off every possible source of adult content for their children, rather than the government's addressing the problem at its source," a government attorney, Peter D. Keisler, argued in a post-trial brief.

Critics of the law argued that filters work best because they let parents set limits based on their own values and their child's age.

The law addressed material accessed by children under 17, but applied only to content hosted in the United States.

The Web sites that challenged the law said fear of prosecution might lead them to shut down or move their operations offshore, beyond the reach of the U.S. law. They also said the Justice Department could do more to enforce obscenity laws already on the books.

The 1998 law followed Congress' unsuccessful 1996 effort to ban online pornography. The Supreme Court in 1997 deemed key portions of that law unconstitutional because it was too vague and trampled on adults' rights.

The newer law narrowed the restrictions to commercial Web sites and defined indecency more specifically.

In 2000, Congress passed a law requiring schools and libraries to use software filters if they receive certain federal funds. The high court upheld that law in 2003.

By JESSE HARLAN ALDERMAN
Associated Press Writer

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. (AP) - Sometime between the founding of a student-run porn magazine and the day the campus health center advertised "Free Lube," Harvard University seniors Sarah Kinsella and Justin Murray decided to fight back against what they see as too much mindless sex at the Ivy League school.

They founded a student group called True Love Revolution to promote abstinence on campus. The group, created earlier this school year, has more than 90 members on its Facebook.com page and drew about half that many to an ice cream social.

Harvard treats sex—or "hooking up"—so casually that "sometimes I wonder if sex is even a remotely serious thing," said Kinsella, who is dating Murray.

Other schools around the country have small groups devoted to abstinence. On most campuses, they are religious organizations. Princeton and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have Anscombe Societies, secular organizations named after an English philosopher and Roman Catholic. True Love Revolution is secular as well.

Some feminists, in particular, have criticized True Love Revolution's message.

Harvard student Rebecca Singh said she was offended by a valentine the group sent to the dormitory mailboxes of all freshmen. It read: "Why wait? Because you're worth it."

"I think they thought that we might not be `ruined' yet," Singh said. "It's a symptom of that culture we have that values a woman on her purity. It's a relic."

Others on campus have mocked the group. Murray said his friends take pleasure in loudly, and graphically, discussing their sex lives just to taunt him.

"On campus there is such a strong attitude of pluralism and acceptance, but then it doesn't extend to this," Kinsella said.

In the student paper, The Harvard Crimson, columnist Jessica C. Coggins praised the group's low-key approach and scolded Harvard students for their "laughter at the virgin." She said students on the campus, which has 6,700 undergraduates, should "find a different confidence booster than making fun of celibate peers."

True Love Revolution members say the problem starts with the university. They say Harvard has implicitly led students to believe that having sex at college is a foregone conclusion by requiring incoming freshman to attend a seminar on date-rape that does not mention abstinence, by placing condoms in freshmen dorms, and by hosting racy lecturers. (Harvard students have also launched H-Bomb, a magazine featuring racy photos of undergraduates.)

"Sometimes that voice on campus is so overwhelming that students committed to abstinence almost feel compelled to abandon their convictions," Murray said. He acknowledged he "slipped up" and had sex earlier in college but said he has returned to abstinence with Kinsella.

Dr. David Rosenthal, director of Harvard health services, disputed the notion that the university promotes sex.

He said students mistakenly think everyone on campus is having sex. The National College Health Assessment Survey, which included Harvard and hundreds of other campuses, found that about 29 percent of students reported not having sex in the past school year. For the 71 percent who are having sex, it is crucial to promote safety, Rosenthal said.

"Some students may have a feeling that acknowledgment is condoning," he said, "and it's not."

by Jenny Kalaidis

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Longer relationships seem to gradually lose the initial fire, and if both partners aren’t careful, they could almost fizzle out entirely. When this happens, the eye starts wandering elsewhere. Well, what would happen if a couple that has been dating for the long term takes a semi-experimental path to try to spice things up?

I’m talking about entering the swinger scene.

Even though I’ve never participated in the swinger lifestyle, I find the life of a swinger to be absolutely fascinating. You get your cake, and you get to eat it, too. You get to remain in the same, loving relationship, but also get to play around with other partners to keep things interesting. Twisted, but interesting nonetheless.

A few weeks ago, I watched a documentary on VH1 about the topic. I learned that, on top of the many websites that set up swinger couples, there are tangible establishments that arrange swinger parties. Some of these parties are actually elite, “invite only.” If a couple is lucky enough to receive an invite, the first couple and their new mates are put in a room together. One person pairs up with a person from the other couple and vise versa, and then they get right to business. In some cases, the two mixed couples go at it in the same room, fully conscious as to what the other is doing, and in other cases, the two respective couples sneak off to have a more intimate experience.

These swinger couples range from young twenty-somethings to married, middle-aged couples, and even to some more experienced veterans. However, they have one thing in common: the swinger lifestyle.

Let’s do a little history recap, shall we? Back in the ’60s, the term swinger hadn’t really been dubbed yet. Instead, people who had multiple sex partners, while still in a relationship, called it “free love.” With the hippies becoming yuppies, and the rise of AIDS, this lifestyle abruptly halted due to the dangerous risks involved with having numerous sexual partners.

However, for whatever reasons, this lifestyle is beginning to gain momentum.

Here’s a little solid proof to back this up. A quick “swingers” search on Google brought me to a website, . What I found was actually quite surprising. There are currently 6,357 swingers within 100 miles. Talk about picking from a variety of high-delicacy cakes and eating them, too. You and your pookie can basically surf the Internet, find the hot couple of your choice, read about them and arrange a play date. The profiles even say their sexual attitudes: most are labeled as “wild,” while a few are labeled as “moderate.” Ah, the wonders of the Internet!

My friend’s roommate, who has been dating her boyfriend for two years, said she considers swinging “cheating.” When I asked her why, she said, “My boyfriend shouldn’t have to go to anyone but me. And even if we were both with someone, I would still consider it cheating.”

When I talked to one of my single guy friends, he told me a slightly different answer. When asked if he would like to try swinging with his hypothetical girlfriend, he said yes. When asked how it would affect his relationship with her, he said, “I think it would cause too many problems. I wouldn’t want to have to deal with her being jealous, and I wouldn’t want to know about her being with other guys.”

I asked another guy friend what he thought about it. He said that he probably wouldn’t ever consider it, but perhaps if “I was with someone who would want to, it could be fun.”

That’s about where I would fall in. Although it seems like swinging sort of defeats the purpose of being in a relationship, I guess it would have to depend on who you were with and why you both chose to do it. I guess you shouldn’t rule out anything before you’ve tried it, because you never know if you’ll be missing out.

However, I admit it would be a shock.

Jenny Kalaidis is a freshman majoring in communication arts and journalism. Are you a swinger, baby? Send questions, comments and tales of sexual escapades to jkalaidis@badgerherald.com.

By JAYNE ATHERTON - Thursday, March 15, 2007

A Briton who set up a swingers club in rural Thailand faces jail for promoting sex tourism.

Anthony Craig is under investigation for charging guests £100 a night for sex with unlimited partners, including girls aged 18 to 25 and transsexual 'ladyboys'.

The 57-year-old says on his website that all his sex workers are anxious to meet foreigners and 'sh*g like rabbits'.

Guests are picked up discreetly from Udon Thani airport and taken to Resort Caroline in the remote Nong Saeng district, five miles from the nearest village.

Mr Craig, who with Thai wife Lampan, 31, is on £4,600 bail, says in his promotional literature: 'I have helped village girls find fun and rich western boyfriends and husbands.

'My hedonistic business is aimed at soft-play couples and shy single men. It started off as a nudist resort and my guests sort of changed things. My ethos is live and let live.'

The former builder, from Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, adds that he only allows people over 18 to take part in the orgies and he never joins in.

'I make more friends than enemies but my enemies are the unseen bigots that condemn my way of life because of their myopic outlook,' he says.

About 6,000 swingers, mainly from Britain, are thought to have visited the resort since it opened four years ago. Its gatehouse is manned by Mr Craig's Thai mother-in-law.

Police chief Teerasak Krinponsa said: 'These swingers and this resort are giving Thailand a bad name.'

GRANDVIEW, MO. -- A group of lesbians hanging out at the International House of Pancakes in Grandview said they got thrown out of the restaurant because they're gay.

The women said they met up at IHOP Friday night around dinner time. When one of the women's partners showed up, they greeted each other with a kiss. They said there was another kiss on the cheek later, but they said it was nothing outrageous. The restaurant's general manager said he got a complaint and asked the women to leave.

The women said they've been going to the IHOP off 71 Highway in Grandview for years and they've never had a problem until Friday.

"We were being disruptive by having a common kiss like any normal straight couple would have," Blair Funk said.

"He said it's just that we've had complaints and it's unacceptable and as a family restaurant we don't accept that and don't accept you and she said maybe we should go," Jackie Smith said. "He said I'm going to have to ask you to leave and not return."

The general manager said me he had a complaint because one of the couples french kissed and were touching each other. He said he told them this is a family restaurant and their behavior was unacceptable. Blair said she and her girlfriend weren't doing anything outrageous




"My significant other had her arm around me on the back of the bench or whatever and we did kiss and then I maybe kissed on the cheek but it was nothing too intense," Funk said.

"And it was after we left, he flat out asked us to leave because we were gay," Smith said.

Smith wrote a letter to IHOP's corporate office and got an email response Tuesday that said, "we're sorry to learn about the difficulties you encountered at this location."

They contact the KC Anti-Violence Project about this and they said the the federal civil rights law doesn't include sexual orientation, so this isn't a legal question. The group, however, said it is a question of bias.

There's an anti-discrimination bill in the Missouri house right now that would protect gay people from housing, employment and service discrimination. Smith and Funk said they'll push to get support for the bill so in the future they won't have to worry about something like this happening again.

MINEOLA - A couple who allegedly extorted people they met on adult Web sites have been indicted by a Nassau County grand jury.

The indictment makes reference to additional victims of the scheme and adds significantly to the charges the couple is facing. District attorney Kathleen Rice said the investigation is continuing and she is urging the public to come forward if they feel they have been victims of the pair.

Appearing in front of Nassau County Court Judge George R. Peck, Michael Largue, 45, was arraigned on charges of second degree and fourth degree grand larceny, third degree attempted grand larceny as well as first degree scheme to defraud and fifth degree conspiracy.

Shawn Payne, 34, is scheduled to be arraigned on identical charges Thursday morning. The both face a maximum of 20 years in prison if convicted on all counts.

Largue and Ms. Payne were arrested in late January in connection with extortion allegations by two victims. Authorities moved quickly to seize evidence from the defendants' computers, which outlined their scheme and identified additional victims and numerous on-line relationships using the Web sites Adultfriendfinder.com., AmericanSingles.com, bbwdating.com, and ALT.com.

After their arrests, an additional victim contacted the Nassau County Police Department's Third Squad and the district attorney's office identified and contacted two additional victims using information obtained from the defendants' computers.

The charges allege that the defendants, in an attempt to identify potential extortion targets, trolled adult Web sites and exchanged pictures with users, in addition to posting their profiles. The names used by the defendants include "Nice Manners", "Master Wonderful" and "Incontrol 626."

Prosecutors said that after several Internet chats and subsequent telephone calls with female victims, Michael Largue would tell women that they were "the one" he had been searching for, and that he was interested in marrying the victim. Largue would then offer to help married women get divorced with the help of a "financial advisor" he would hire for them. That financial advisor was his co-defendant, Shawn Payne. While Largue continued to develop the vulnerability of these women, the charges allege Ms. Payne worked on their finances and acted as a go-between for Largue. Several victims were asked to give or actually gave the defendants their banking and financial information. At least one emptied her bank accounts. Others were urged to sell or mortgage their homes and move in with Largue, who would offer to manage their assets. One female victim lost $50,000. Largue often presented himself as an investment banker or wealthy entrepreneur who was constantly at important meetings and conducting major business deals from "his office". His office was nothing more than a "virtual office" in Garden City where he rented space on an hourly basis.

After several Internet chats and subsequent telephone calls to one male victim, Payne and Largue arranged for Payne to meet the victim for videotaped sexual encounters. The videotaping was done without his knowledge. Soon after, Payne threatened the victim with the release of the photos and videotapes to his spouse, unless he paid $50,000.

After reviewing evidence seized from the defendants, the district attorney's office contacted more than 30 potential victims whose names or screen names were found on the defendants' computers. The investigation is continuing into their contact with the defendants. 3-13-07

© 2007 North Country Gazette

Posted by Japhet in TnO

If you're straight and want to walk on the wild side, your options are limited. Besides clubs and bars, a pick-up option that comes loaded with a dizzying amount of rules, rituals and regulations, guys and girls are generally out in the cold when it comes to being given free reign to exercise their kinky side.

Enter the swinger's club, otherwise known as a bathhouse for the rest of us. A haven for those who know what they want (and want to get busy) it exists primarily for the purpose of getting like-minded folks together to get off.

Club Eros, the longest-running community in the area, holds events all the way out in Etobicoke but for those of us who don't play outside of the downtown core, there's Club Wicked, the only "on-premise" club around.

(For those of you who don't know, an on-premise club allows sexual encounters between members as opposed to off-premise clubs where interested parties have to leave if they want to have sex.)

Located at 1032 Queen St. West, in the space formerly occupied by spooky goth-bar the Vatikan, you might think Wicked was in a bit of an out-of-the-way spot for such a alternative endeavor but it caters to a very specific crowd as I was soon to find out.

While I'm something of a hedonist, I wouldn't label myself a swinger. All the same, I was very interested in seeing what this kind of club was all about. According to their website, they have a very strict dress code with the doorman being empowered to arbitrarily decide whether or not you're "erotic and elegant" enough to get in. This was no huge issue but the bit about no single guys being allowed in without the presence of a lady presented me with a problem. I needed a beard, someone to disguise my agenda.

It was rather difficult finding someone willing to explore this uncharted territory with me and the ones who were up for it had boyfriends who didn't look too favorably on the idea. Eventually, a partner was secured and after picking her up, we headed off to Club Wicked dressed in our finest.

If you arrive before eleven on Fridays, it only costs $10 to get in but I had to pay $20 because we were late. Regardless, I can't see why anyone would want to arrive before that because we got upstairs to find the place at death's door. The small bar was completely occupied so the Beard and I sat down one of the disturbingly-antiseptic naughahyde beds lining the wall to sip our $7 gin-and-tonics.

There were about thirty souls in attendance and a sketchy, nervous vibe pervaded the room. There were two or three couples engaging in some exhibitionist behavior but everyone else seemed to be waiting for something to happen while they talked and drank. The Beard and I both noticed it and came to some conclusions about Wicked:

1. One of the underlying goals of going out is hooking up but most places you end up at don't incorporate that so baldly into their modus operandi. A club that does puts a lot of pressure on its guests, particularly the newbies.

2. Those same folks might get that "fresh meat" feeling that most guys have never had the pleasure of experiencing. Every walk to the bathroom is punctuated by quite a few come-hither stares that you can't help but be aware of and, depending on who's doing the looking, this can either be incredibly flattering or just plain creepy.

3. It reminded me of a make-out party I went to last year. The host was jumping from one group to another, cheerfully encouraging everyone to get started. Like summer camp but more arts-and-crafts than the let's-make-out-in-the-bunk variety. That's just not sexy.

Apparently, if you fill out the form they present you with at the door, you'll be given a tour of the place and, if kinky hosts Schlomo and Aurora decide you're hot enough, offered a $60 membership that gets you and your honey into the VIP area where the real action is. (If you really dig it, you can always splurge for the $295 yearly membership.)

The Beard and I didn't fill out the form (she had made it very clear that she wouldn't go any further than the main room) so we didn't get the tour but my reliable source tells me that there are an assortment of rooms with quite a few beds, a two-way mirror and a hot tub. Similar to a bathhouse, members are required to strip down to a towel or lingerie but I'm sure most don't need to be told twice. From that point on, anything goes but the regulations in place are there to make women feel comfortable. No means no and the absence of lone wolves seems to cut down on the trench coat flasher factor. However, bisexual boys should think twice before attending; my source also told me that the only same-sex pairings that occur are between ladies.

Granted, a lot of this hanky-panky takes place on Saturday, when Wicked gets a bit livelier. Friday is a more relaxed affair so if you've got deep pockets and are looking to find Mr. and Mrs. Right, don't bother going then. That being said, it might be a good starting point for those of you who want to get your feet wet before diving in.

After an hour of sitting in the main area, the Beard and I were bored stiff and we left for a livelier bar. While all accounts I've heard so far point to Wicked as the primo place to hook up with some like-minded swingers, it's not something you can just check out on a whim and those who aren't interested in what it has to offer really shouldn't bother.

Many regulars attend on a weekly basis. One woman is driven in from Oakville by her husband. After he drops her off, she makes use of every available partner and he gets to hear about it on the way home which is how he gets off.

If Wicked is fulfilling their needs (and the needs of many others), it deserves kudos for that. Accounting for the power dynamics inherent to sexual relationships between men and women is not an easy task and I, for one, am impressed with their progress. If we're really lucky, this venue might even foreshadow a gradual relaxing of Toronto's often-uptight attitude towards sex.

Unfortunately, all is not well in this swinger's haven. Look for part two of this report on Club Wicked in a couple of weeks where I'll delve into a former employee's experience with the company.

--

Photos courtesy of the Club Wicked website.

A SWINGERS club offering "sophisticated entertainment for uninhibited and discerning adult men and women" is set to open up for business just yards from Wirral's main police custody suite.

10th Heaven - promoting itself on the internet and in the Loot advertising publication as "the northwest's newest swingers club" - is in the former Great Float pub in Upper Beckwith Street, Birkenhead, 200 yards from the police cells on Corporation Road. According to its adverts, 10th Heaven offers a sauna, dark room, couples room, viewing room, two hot tubs, three DVD lounges, four private rooms, two mixed play rooms and a BDSM room. BDSM is shorthand for sex games involving bondage, domination and sado-masochism.

Its website says the club will also be featuring "bi days" and "greedy girl days and nights".

But the venture has attracted criticism, with a ward councillor describing it as "a totally inappropriate development".

10th Heaven was due to open its doors on Saturday for an "introduction evening" but when the Globe visited the premises on Tuesday morning, workmen were still carrying out electrical work and decorating.

When it does start operating, the club's website promises that it will be open from 11am each day "until late".

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It reads: "Our club is a friendly, sophisticated club for open-minded adults. If this is your first time at our club then you have picked the right place to be.

"Whether you're an experienced clubber or just a bit curious, we offer a comfortable, no pressure nightclub environment for you to meet, eat, drink and be entertained.

"We are all here to have the best of good times and share the uninhibited enjoyment associated with those who discover a new dimension to their lifestyle."

The owners of the club have installed eight-foot high metal fences around the club that they are currently in negotiation with the council over.

It's understood there may also have to be a planning application for a change of use of the premises.

The club does not have a licence to sell alcohol but the website advises customers that they can bring their own drinks that they can then store "behind the bar".

A representative of 10th Heaven insisted to the Globe that the investment and regeneration of the property was an improvement on the derelict shell it was before.

"If there are any complaints about the club then we'll turn it back over to the drug dealers and the prostitutes who used it before," he said.

The club's website also has an FAQ page - frequently asked questions - which offers information about the practising of safe sex, the availability of contraceptives and what kind of clothes to wear.

Ann McLachlan, Labour councillor for Bidston and St James, said she is unhappy about the club operating in the area.

She told the Globe: "This is a totally inappropriate development for the area and the last thing I, as a ward councillor, want to see."

David Green, director of technical services at the council, said: "Wirral Council is currently investigating the erection of fencing around the premises.

"It would be inappropriate to comment further until those investigations have been completed."

Exclusive By Justin Dunn

Has your sex life gone from sizzling to so-so? Then take a look at your sex etiquette.

"Something you're saying or doing might be scaring him out of the bedroom," says Val Sampson, author of The Real Sex Kitten's Handbook (Quadrille Publishing, R121.56, www.kalahari.net).

"It's time to seize control of your sex life by turning around those little things that lead to bad, boring or no sex."

Read on to find out whether you've been jeopardising potential bedroom action...

An astonishing claim by the lawyer of suspended Assistant Commissioner Clint Rickards that half of New Zealanders had engaged in group sex has led to scepticism among Herald readers - although many experts concede the kinky practice is increasing.

When Mr Rickards was asked on Thursday if he thought group sex was an appropriate activity for a serving police officer, his lawyer, John Haigh, QC, interrupted, saying the question was irrelevant and "half of New Zealand has done it".

Yesterday, Mr Haigh backed down from his comments made outside the court.

He described them as a "throwaway remark" made when he was caught up in the emotional scenes after the verdict.

Reflecting on his comments, Mr Haigh said he was tired after the trial.

He said the comment did not have any substance and should not have been taken as anything other than "facetious".

He did not believe that half of New Zealand was having group sex.

"What I was meaning was that what goes on behind closed doors and is consensual sex should not affect someone's position."

The latest Durex Sex Survey shows that 26 per cent of New Zealanders spoken to admitted to having group sex, a result that puts us on level pegging with Iceland and South Africa but just behind Australia.

One Auckland sex worker said up to 10 per cent of her business came from couples who preferred a discreet visit to a prostitute rather than meeting strangers in a bar - a practice known as swinging.

Experts claim couples fall into two camps including adventurous people in their mid-twenties or those in their 40s or 50s looking to put more spark into their relationships.

The number of swingers clubs is also on the rise with two opening their doors in Auckland in the past six months and providing competition for the long-established Club Kit Kat.

However, the Kit Kat's manageress, Loulou, says her establishment is more about "flirting, showing off ... and touching".

Most group sex is done in privately held meetings or arranged through a myriad of often "tacky" websites.

New Zealand's most popular website, NZ Dating, declined to comment but categories on its membership page include one for heterosexual or same-sex couples looking for another person.

Nic Beets, a clinical psychologist specialising in relationship problems and sexual issues, said he had noticed an increase in the number of couples admitting to having or wanting group sex since he began practising 12 years ago. Traditionally it had been men who had floated the idea but increasingly women were raising it as a possibility, as people begin to feel more comfortable about playing out their sexual fantasies, he said.

But Mr Beets said introducing a third person to a couple's sexual relationship is a high-risk activity.

Most relationships come to grief emotionally because people wonder if their partner still finds them attractive or feel insecure about their own performance in bed when compared with another person.

Those who do belong to the swingers set have rules including the couple agreeing not to have sex with the same person more than once and not establishing an emotional attachment to that person.

Mr Beets does not think the suburbs are "writhing with enormous numbers of swingers parties".

- STAFF REPORTER

The New Zealand Herald-nzherald.co.nz

Rodney Dangerfield - "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

Elmo Phillips - "You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by an attractive middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for, later in life."

Robert De Niro - "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful"

Steve Martin - "Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."

George Burns - "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."

Jack Nicholson - "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

Robin Williams - "Ah, yes, divorce. From the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

Billy Crystal - "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

Sharon Stone - "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

Woody Allen - "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand!"