Coast2Coast Swingers Blog

LOS ANGELES (AP) - David Duchovny has entered a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction. In a statement released Thursday by his lawyer, Stanton Stein, the actor said he did so voluntarily, adding: "I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family."

The actor's publicist, Flo Grace, confirmed the rehab report, which first appeared on People.com.

She and Stein both declined to elaborate further.

Duchovny, 48, plays a sex-obsessed character on the Showtime series "Californication," which earned Emmy nominations for casting and cinematography. The show's second season begins Sept. 28. Showtime had no comment Thursday.

The actor appeared in the film "The X Files: I Want to Believe" earlier this summer. He has been married to actress Tea Leoni since 1997. They have two children.

Alright, I am single but in a lifestyle such as this when you have a partner that you swing with does that mean you can't have a vanilla boyfriend?

I have been trying to keep the two worlds separate at least I think I am, but I am drawn to the men in this world. Some of them seem to be so level headed about sex that it is almost unreal. I mean before I even came into this lifestyle it seemed that when I was dating a man and we had sex things would change with them. Some of them would get possessive over "it", which would start to cause problems. But in the lifestyle the only thing you have to get past is the first eye contact and then if things click...straight to the bed, floor, table where ever the mood strikes. Then there is no awkwardness people just go on to the next person and that is that. If they are interested in you after the clothes have been taken off and the deeds have been done then cool. If not the world doesn't stop turning and there is anothe dick waiting to be riden.

So is it ok to have a boyfriend that is not in the lifestyle and a separate partner for the lifestyle?

Being single and in the lifestyle is sometimes hard to do. It could have something to do with expectations that you have for yourself and the expectation you think others have of you. You wake up in the morning eat breakfast, got to work, talk with some of your coworkers, finish your work day then drive back home and might even call your mother or one of your close girlfriends before you order your dinner for the night. You go through the motions of going out to clubs or bars trying to find a guy that will seem sane enough to start a relationship with, but the thing is all you really want to do is have sex, get up and leave them before they leave you. You get tired of trying to explain to your mother why you don't have a boyfriend or why you just sit at home on Friday and Saturday nights because she is getting more action than you. You go through the motions day after day and then finally one day you tell yourself enough is enough, I need something more.
So you start looking around the world of the internet. It is definitely one of the best inventions of the 21st century. They say what ever you are looking for can be found in this technological wonderland and low and behold I stumbled upon a few websites for adults. Now it wasn't the vanilla type adult fun that I was used to reading about. I mean I was on geo cities with the "y" before, but this world was new. When I first registered with the adult website I got the usual creepy come ons, and the continuous emails from people that just wanted to get off on just reading. I also stepped out of my box and met a couple of them, but not to my surprise they should have just stuck with writing emails.
Then it happened I met my very first actual swinger....and wow what a different world I am living in now. It took about two weeks for this guy to convince me that his wife was actually ok with me having sex with him. I got mad, got confused as to why I was getting mad. I guess I finally forgave myself for wanting to do what the vanillas call immoral. Sleeping with someone's husband, how could it be okay?
After it was explained to me the rules of the swinger lifestyle it was a little easier to accept the concept. Now my new friend and his wife had been in the lifestyle for nearly ten years so they pretty much have the communication, trust and understanding of the rules as they apply to their relationship. I went over to their den while the wifey was out of town, I was nervous didn't quite know what to expect. I couldn't have been at their house for more than fifteen minutes before the wifey called to check on the progress of the newest venture. They talked on the phone in front of me then I heard the wife call out to me to have fun.
To say the least I was still a bit stunned at the fact the idea of another woman telling me to have fun with her husband. Wow!!!!
It was a fantastic first time experience and I walked away feeling sexy, wobbly legged, and confident in my abilities to take pleasure in another woman's man. I did feel a little bit guilty for a little while, but that was because I've been so brain washed into thinking that it is wrong to have sex with another woman's husband. So I vowed to myself to not have sex with another womans' husband or man unless she knew about it and gave him permission to do so. I do what I can to keep true to that vow, but I can't always tell when someone is telling me a the truth. I try to keep the confusion down by only parttaking in parties that my group throws. I have my regulars that I know don't have women only because I've actually stayed at their places more than once to know they are not attached.
Being a single woman in the lifestyle has its perks one being you don't have to feel guilty for enjoying your sexuality. It's sometimes a turn on for some men when they find out you are a swinger, but you have to explain to them that just because you part take in the swinging lifestyle you are not a slut or promiscuous and still deserve respect. You can keep things in perspective when it comes to men and sex. You aren't having sex with hopes of getting married to that person, because that is what had been programmed in your mind by the vanilla world. You have more confidence in who you are and you enjoy your body more. It's a secrete diet pill that could never be sold on the market. Although the show "Swingtown" is trying.
The down side of being in the lifestyle is that unless you find a boyfriend who has been in the lifestyle or is in the life style they won't understand your desire to be in the lifestyle. How open the communication can be between couples that are in the lifestyle. It's just a different world all together.
So like I said in the beginning...enough is enough....get out there and be who you are. Embrace this lifestyle for all it is worth and enjoy!!!!! It has such pleasures to show you.

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You would think with all the clubs, websites, parties and groups with the name Swinger attached to it, that we would have no problem finding genuine lifestyle folks in our area. But despite the multitude of options, finding "the real swinger" is proving more and more difficult.

I almost hate saying the word real swinger. When we first got into the lifestyle 6 years ago, this turn was thrown around as a debate between the up and coming soft swinger movement and the fullswappers. As I have seen more and more "soft" swingers become fullswap, I would rather just say that they are swingers waiting to have their cherry popped. However, as the popularity of swinging has grown, so has the even softer swinger. These are the "swingers" that have made it more difficult to find the real swinger, soft or fullswap. These swingers refuse to go to a party unless it has 5 to 6 other activities to do outside of playing. They must be severely liquored up and drunk before they feel comfortable in taking part in any activities. Worst of all they are uncomfortable with themselves and sex.

It is unfortunate that lifestyle communities are now infested with this new softer swinger, but even more unfortunate is how the infestation began. The door to the lifestyle was once difficult to find let alone squeeze through. My wife and I searched for a lifestyle club for a year before we were brought into the secretive world. That door has been slowly creeped open by those whom seek to make profit, whether it be money or popularity. For every rule a club, group or website has, that is 5 to 10 to 100 potential customers whom they have to turn away. I have seen many good friends who began a club or event with good intentions of creating a haven for the community, and then slowly let those intentions erode as the inticement of greed becomes too great.

Out of the dozens of clubs and parties in our area, only 3 (one of which is ours) screens people before they attend. One club is the etitomy of the softer swinger, nonsexual banging club music all night, an invite list that consists of their real estate agent and family members, single men roaming in feral packs, play a severe rarity, an entry fee that is exhorbant when considering it is located in a residential apartment. As an example of a rampant new ideology in the lifestyle, the softer swinger is the new swinger, as the owners have told us.

In a turn of irony, the real swinger is slowly being pushed to the back of the lifestyle, as the more socially pallattable softer swinger style influences the lifestyle clubs and events. But, there are still secrets to finding other likeminded real swingers. Signup on websites that are run by lifestylers. The more questions they ask before approving your profile the better. If you sign up for an event and the organizer never speaks to you, be leary. Word of mouth is more important than how many individuals are on the guest list. The Real Swinger may have to inact strategies of the swingers from a decade or two ago, before the internet, and ask other real swingers where to go. Read a club's rules and forms. How genuine do they seem in the lifestyle. Ask around. Ask do the hosts play. Does it seem like they are running a sex show where the 3 or 4 real swingers who go will be the main attraction? The real swinger may be difficult to find, but it certainly is not going extinct.

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